Trying for patience

I am four days past my due date and I can not say that I am feeling content and patient. I can say that the kids and I have enjoyed most of these quiet pre-baby bubble days. We have relaxed our school schedule, with my goal being for us all to read together, for the kids to have reading time, to play educational games together like Quiddler, and we have just been starting a typing curriculum that I hope to do for a short period a few times a week. My favorite part of our day has been first thing in the morning when we sit on the couch and read together. We just finished The Little Princess, which we all enjoyed immensely. Tomorrow morning we start The Secret Garden.

We have had unseasonably warm weather so we've been able to get out daily. The kids have been sledding on our driveway while I just hike back and forth until I feel the need to come in and lay down. I've been enjoying a small amount of yoga followed by daily afternoon naps which are just lovely and another highlight of these late winter afternoons. For the most part we have been enjoying and trying to make the most of this pre-baby calm. The sun is returning and filling our house with light.

The last couple days we've been getting a little restless. I'm ready for baby. The rest of the family is ready for baby. We have had a break from commitments and get togethers but the kids are starting to miss their friends. It has been nice not to be battling any new colds since our outside contact has been limited. Today we found ourselves looking for reasons to go to town and at the same time eyeing every door knob with suspicion - it is just that time of year where everyone has either been traveling and bringing back bugs or they are low on vitamin D and everyone is getting anything that is going around. So while we are getting restless and the kids would like to see their friends, we are simultaneously wanting to keep our distance so that we remain in good health for this special time.

I am trying to be patient but am only having mixed success. I had a night of pre-labor a couple weeks ago that was hard to bounce back from as it got me all excited and ready for labor and baby. Ever since then I have been having contractions off and on again which are quite a tease. I prefer to tackle challenges head on and waiting for them to come to me is not a strength of mine. So, these days I am very distracted, always half paying attention to the babe stirring in my belly and what she is or is not doing. I have no interest in distracting myself with books which is quite unusual for me. I can't seem to really get into this latest knitting project that I've started but I don't want to start something else. I know we should be getting in as much crafting and school as possible but I'm so over trying to have productive days. I want the baby to come so I have a good excuse to just lay around and not have to think about what I should be doing.

Last week Noah brought in a Willow tree that is budding out and we decorated it with past year's decorated blown out eggs. We planted rye grass around the base, as that is what I had in the pantry- not keeping wheat berries around anymore and never having used up all the rye berries. The cat thinks the new soil and indoor grass is for him, so we'll see if we can keep it looking nice. Avery and I wet felted some plastic eggs with plans to possibly embroider on some. A couple of them I cut open and hung from the tree. They aren't quite how I envisioned and need some more work, but one has two Amanita mushrooms inside and the other has a bird nest with eggs. We've decided for our hard boiled eggs this year we are going to try pressing fresh flowers on them and wrapping them with onion peels. The kids also want to paint some blown out eggs, which we could do sooner than later. I've been trying to get motivated to snip some willows and make a few woven baskets for decoration.

 I have to say that I am at war with myself, knowing that I need to relax and enjoy these final days of pregnancy and at the same time put an end to this waiting with some Cohosh blend tincture. It is not even that I am terribly uncomfortable or anything. I love being pregnant and with few exceptions feel pretty good still. I'm just not good at waiting for things I'm really excited about. I know that really I just need to distract myself and allow this baby to come when she is ready. I've been trying to think of what I could get excited about and today I realized that it is time to buy some seedling mix. It's a little early for here but I could start some herbs and flowers which would occupy me for one afternoon and making nests would occupy my hands and mind for another. I've been wrapping my belly for support but I can't stand in the kitchen as long as I'd like to make all the foods I'm inspired to make. So, I'm having to budget my kitchen time to make sure I have enough energy for dinner at the end of the day.

Wishing and trying for patience here. Thanks to everyone for all the good wishes and kind words.