Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Twilight obsession and resulting funk

For those of you who keep up with the on goings of our homestead,  you know that I don't write about much other than goats, chickens and the kids. Well I'm going to take a deviation from the norm and write about something that has been on my mind the last few days. I've been in a serious funk, which is not normal for me. I don't consider myself a moody or easily depressed person, but I've been walking through my daily routine in a haze, which is a bummer as there are so many new things going on this time of year and I haven't been enjoying the progress as I should be. We've been milking, making cheese for the first time this season, building and filling new beds in the garden and planting tomatoes in the greenhouse and all the while I've been feeling melancholy, so maybe having it all out will help get it out of my system.

On Thursday night my husband brought home the movie Twilight. For those of you (like myself) who according to one of the actors in the film "have been living under a rock" and have not heard of this series, it is a movie about a high-school girl who falls in love with a vampire and the troubles and issues that follow as a result of their love for each other. It is very much a teenage girl heartthrob sort of movie, but I have to say that I was totally sucked in. What appeals to me the most is the character Edward (the vampire) played by Robert Pattinson. Edward treasures Bella and wants to enjoy her human-ness, wants to love, protect her and keep her safe, as she is. She on the other hand wants him to turn her into a vampire so that she can be with him forever, not age into an old woman and gain powers to help protect them both.

The movies are based on a series of books written by Stephanie Meyer. There are four books, and there will be four movies, Eclipse is coming to theatres in June followed by Breaking Dawn in November 2011. On Friday night we watched the sequel New Moon. The following night we watched the second half of both movies again, as I was hungry to see the initial romance between the two that was in Twilight and Dustin had fallen asleep and missed the ending of New Moon. Sunday I watched the special features to New Moon which included different aspects of the making of the film, sets, special effects, set scenes, music etc.  Then I got online to look up more about the actors, er Robert Pattinson...and watched some sneak peaks for Eclipse. I was obsessed and consequently in a funk. As the movies were due back, we returned them and headed to a friend's BBQ, where I proceeded to dwell in my mind, in the world of Edward and Bella.

It is rare that I remember an actor's name, let alone look up other movies he has been in. I felt like I was spying, looking up interviews about Robert Pattinson online and once I watched him visiting in superficial talk-show fashion, I was letdown and simultaneously relieved to see him as a not so mysterious twenty-three year old man. It was naive to expect that Pattinson would say something insightful or meaningful as if he were really his character Edward, and it was comforting to know that I had just been smitten by the character, a vampire struggling to control his desire, who is certain his soul is doomed to hell,  practices vegetarianism, that is only sucks the blood of animals - not humans, in an effort to be less of a monster.

Finally I felt sympathy and shame to see how little privacy Robert Pattinson and other actors have once they make it big, and as much as we expect that it comes with the job, it is rather a sad story that actors following their passion and finally succeeding in their art, have to deal with such intensive invasions of their privacy. Looking up clips and seeing all the sites that are filled with daily star tracking,  I was embarrassed  to see how many people spend their time following the lives of celebrities, and to have taken part however briefly. However, on that note, I couldn't help noticing that Pattinson and Kristen Stwewart, who plays Bella are dating in real life, and I can't help but wish a happy ever after ending to the real life couple - although they are certainly more doomed with Hollywood being what it is, in addition to how we treat our celebrities, than Edward and Bella are in battling werewolves, revengeful vampires and the vulturi.

After a weekend of watching these two movies and then thinking of the characters and the lives of the real actors throughout the day...well everything in my life has seemed very dull and bland in comparison. How can cleaning house, making food, and caring for kids and animals all day compete with the supernatural world of vampires or for that matter the lives of celebrities? I can easily say that I have never been too impressed or caught up by the lives of celebrities, nor is that a life or occupation that appeals to me whatsoever. I generally feel incredibly fortunate to have the life I do. I wouldn't change much if I could, and I really couldn't ask for more. I suppose I've been caught up in a world of fantastic make believe and am having a hard time transitioning back to my reality. It hasn't helped that we have had a couple cool, gloomy and overcast days.

So, I think I'll be dragging my husband along to see Eclipse in the theatre. I may be reading the series, but I'm taking some time off before I go looking for it. I for one need to come back down to reality and focus on the real things in my life... Sesame Street is ending and Avery is trying on her brother's superman underwear and it is time to get the kids out to milk some goats - for real.


Anonymous said...

sorry to hear about your funk and your obsessions with teeny bopper vampires. I am hoping that you will post some photos of the goat kids since having them all must be such fun. And also to ask how it is going mixing your own feed for the chickens. How is the cost analysis? How are they doing on the feed? Have you started the cornish hybrids on home grown feed, and if yes, how has that worked?

Emily said...

I was planning on posting pics of the goat kids today, finally got the pictures off the camera and onto the computer.

Mixing feed for the chickens is going well. The cost analysis is getting better, I need to redo some math now that I'm finding some of the ingredients cheaper - I'll do a new post soon that breaks it all down. If you haven't read it yet I wrote a fairly detailed post back in January or Feb?

Last year we started the cornish hybrids on our layer feed coursely ground for their first several weeks. I think that we didn't switch to commercial grower until their last four to five weeks. They grew slower, and at the time I thought that was just increasing their overall cost, but now I'm thinking that it may be worth it as they didn't have leg problems, until the very end when they just didn't move around a bunch. This season however, we fed a handful of cornish grower from the start and they've been having issues since they were five weeks old. We've been pulling their feeders at night and have recently started cutting their feed with the whole grain mix in an attempt to slow down their rapid growth. We are getting a larger batch of cornish in June and I plan on feeding them our whole grain mix again for at least their first few weeks.

Geek 3000 said...

I've read the entire series about 10000 times. Yes I am a self confirmed and affirmed geek. I love movies and fantasy books. Something I think that is beautiful to remember about these stories is first the love story. When I read the stories it brought back all the magic and excitement falling in love with my husband brought. That's always a good thing to remember. And second the beauty of these supernatural creatures adventuring through their world is exactly that. They are creatures in their environment, living each day. And not living like so many of us, over thinking everything like we are just heads laying on the couch processing. If they appeal to you, go out and be in your environment and try not to stay too much in your head, just feel it. Oh and definitely read the books!

sk said...

Hi there!
Two things: one, I started making chicken feed, inspired by you, and it's going really well! I haven't done a cost analysis yet, but I don't see how I could ever go back to feeding them crappy food, so maybe I will just skip the cost analysis thing.

2) I TOTALLY know what you mean about Twilight! I had heard of it but I never intended to watch it, because fantasy movies/books are "not my thing." But then one night my boyfriend rented it and I reluctantly agreed to watch it, only to be immediately sucked into the romantic and mysterious world of Bella & Edward. It was so strange for me! I hadn't felt that crazed since I was in my early teens. The next day I couldn't stop thinking about it and went to the library and got the book to read, which I devoured with equal intensity. I, too, felt boring and stale and unromantic when I compared myself and my life to those fictional characters...
Happily, my intrigue started to wane after I read New Moon, and I just saw the movie and didn't like it as much, although I did enjoy it.
What is it about Bella and Edward? I can't put my finger on it, but I have to hand it to the casting directors-- they did an awesome job with those two.

Emily said...

Anonymous - I looked back and the post where I figured out my exact costs was titled Feed Costs in the January archives. I'm guessing the feed is costing around thirty cents a pound.

Geek 3000, thanks for the thoughtful comment. You are right, maybe I didn't focus on it enough, but it is the romance, the forbidden love between the two and the memories of my own relationships it brings back. I suppose something else I didn't touch on was the reminder of how far away I am from those days of teenage romance - which I'm generally thankful for. I have been inspired to reserve more energy and thought for my husband and not spend it all on the kids and ambitious cooking and projects etc.

SK, I'm stoked I helped inspire someone to mix their own feed. Once you get into a routine and get used to buying larger amounts of feed at once instead of a bag here and there it's not so much work. Rewarding and hard to go back for sure. I am going to do some more cost figuring in a post soon, I am hoping to keep track of just how much feed we put into our turkeys and meat birds this year.

Edward and Bella, Romeo and Juliet, such intense young love complicated by so much turmoil from the start. I imagine that the characters are even more developed in the books, but I think Pattinson has done a great job of playing an interesting and complex character. It is nice to know that there are some other sensible women out there that share my sentiments...