Twilight obsession and resulting funk

For those of you who keep up with the on goings of our homestead,  you know that I don't write about much other than goats, chickens and the kids. Well I'm going to take a deviation from the norm and write about something that has been on my mind the last few days. I've been in a serious funk, which is not normal for me. I don't consider myself a moody or easily depressed person, but I've been walking through my daily routine in a haze, which is a bummer as there are so many new things going on this time of year and I haven't been enjoying the progress as I should be. We've been milking, making cheese for the first time this season, building and filling new beds in the garden and planting tomatoes in the greenhouse and all the while I've been feeling melancholy, so maybe having it all out will help get it out of my system.

On Thursday night my husband brought home the movie Twilight. For those of you (like myself) who according to one of the actors in the film "have been living under a rock" and have not heard of this series, it is a movie about a high-school girl who falls in love with a vampire and the troubles and issues that follow as a result of their love for each other. It is very much a teenage girl heartthrob sort of movie, but I have to say that I was totally sucked in. What appeals to me the most is the character Edward (the vampire) played by Robert Pattinson. Edward treasures Bella and wants to enjoy her human-ness, wants to love, protect her and keep her safe, as she is. She on the other hand wants him to turn her into a vampire so that she can be with him forever, not age into an old woman and gain powers to help protect them both.

The movies are based on a series of books written by Stephanie Meyer. There are four books, and there will be four movies, Eclipse is coming to theatres in June followed by Breaking Dawn in November 2011. On Friday night we watched the sequel New Moon. The following night we watched the second half of both movies again, as I was hungry to see the initial romance between the two that was in Twilight and Dustin had fallen asleep and missed the ending of New Moon. Sunday I watched the special features to New Moon which included different aspects of the making of the film, sets, special effects, set scenes, music etc.  Then I got online to look up more about the actors, er Robert Pattinson...and watched some sneak peaks for Eclipse. I was obsessed and consequently in a funk. As the movies were due back, we returned them and headed to a friend's BBQ, where I proceeded to dwell in my mind, in the world of Edward and Bella.

It is rare that I remember an actor's name, let alone look up other movies he has been in. I felt like I was spying, looking up interviews about Robert Pattinson online and once I watched him visiting in superficial talk-show fashion, I was letdown and simultaneously relieved to see him as a not so mysterious twenty-three year old man. It was naive to expect that Pattinson would say something insightful or meaningful as if he were really his character Edward, and it was comforting to know that I had just been smitten by the character, a vampire struggling to control his desire, who is certain his soul is doomed to hell,  practices vegetarianism, that is only sucks the blood of animals - not humans, in an effort to be less of a monster.

Finally I felt sympathy and shame to see how little privacy Robert Pattinson and other actors have once they make it big, and as much as we expect that it comes with the job, it is rather a sad story that actors following their passion and finally succeeding in their art, have to deal with such intensive invasions of their privacy. Looking up clips and seeing all the sites that are filled with daily star tracking,  I was embarrassed  to see how many people spend their time following the lives of celebrities, and to have taken part however briefly. However, on that note, I couldn't help noticing that Pattinson and Kristen Stwewart, who plays Bella are dating in real life, and I can't help but wish a happy ever after ending to the real life couple - although they are certainly more doomed with Hollywood being what it is, in addition to how we treat our celebrities, than Edward and Bella are in battling werewolves, revengeful vampires and the vulturi.

After a weekend of watching these two movies and then thinking of the characters and the lives of the real actors throughout the day...well everything in my life has seemed very dull and bland in comparison. How can cleaning house, making food, and caring for kids and animals all day compete with the supernatural world of vampires or for that matter the lives of celebrities? I can easily say that I have never been too impressed or caught up by the lives of celebrities, nor is that a life or occupation that appeals to me whatsoever. I generally feel incredibly fortunate to have the life I do. I wouldn't change much if I could, and I really couldn't ask for more. I suppose I've been caught up in a world of fantastic make believe and am having a hard time transitioning back to my reality. It hasn't helped that we have had a couple cool, gloomy and overcast days.

So, I think I'll be dragging my husband along to see Eclipse in the theatre. I may be reading the series, but I'm taking some time off before I go looking for it. I for one need to come back down to reality and focus on the real things in my life... Sesame Street is ending and Avery is trying on her brother's superman underwear and it is time to get the kids out to milk some goats - for real.